Ryan and I have been thinking a lot (here and here) about our friends, the Trumans. I was worried that we wouldn't hear details about the funeral, and couldn't bear the thought of not being there to support Lori and her children. Fortunately, we will be able to attend on Saturday and pay tribute to a wonderful man.
As I've thought a lot about Wes this week. I recalled some of the memories I had with him at school, and I would like to share a few...
The first time I heard about Wes was the first week of graduate school. I had yet to meet him, but on an early morning, his team mentioned his absence... His wife had had a baby! It was really exciting and I couldn't wait to meet and congratulate him!
As classes continued, I had wonderful opportunities to get to know Wes. The first time I remember hearing about his condition was the following semester when Ryan started the program. I remember the exact location (the hallway on the second floor of the Tanner extension) and feeling of the conversation (it was soothing, spiritual). Wes was bright, happy, optimistic. He was caring and kind. I vividly remember his concern for Lori as we talked about the challenge in their life. He said that she had desperately wanted to fast for him, but couldn't because she was nursing. I was struck by how much he loved her, and knowing Lori better now I can imagine how challenging this was considering the power of her faith.
In that same conversation he talked about the blessings of the Gospel. How Lori's job had provided means for a family, a future, a stability with a home, health insurance, and proximity to his health providers. It had also given him the opportunity to continue his education when previous plans had been altered forever. In retrospect, I can identify this as one of the moments when I saw the Lord hard at work in the service of someone else; a moment that will stay with me forever and a moment that has built my faith.
As our first year of graduate school came to a close, I remember talking to Wes about the return of his cancer. He was so humble, and we prayed for him to be healed.
When we returned to school in the Fall I remember Wes telling me about his treatments and that he had reached his cap of Chemo. It sounded worrisome, but his experimental treatment seemed promising. He was so humble, and we prayed for him to be healed.
Over the next eight months I worked with Wes on various projects, one of which was an Ethics project on healthcare. He was hard-working, diligent, humble (he always was), and an integral member of our team. And, despite the strain that Chemo put on his memory, his perspective in our final project was first-hand, deep, and eloquent. I wanted to share some of his own words:
"I have a rare medical condition that has provided me with firsthand experience with this [the price of healthcare resulting in stagnation]. The various procedures that were available to me were all very hopeful. Due to America’s ability to encourage innovation in brain surgery, I was able to investigate many institutions and procedures and develop confidence that the decision that my family and I made was indeed the best one. That ability to investigate and pursue the best treatment is critical in very specialized medical arenas."
As graduate school came to a close, Ryan and I left for Washington, and we continued to pray for Wes to be healed. We were saddened that we weren't closer and hadn't had much of a chance to spend time with him outside of class.
Luckily, we were truly blessed to return to Utah so quickly after leaving for Washington.
In September, Ryan and I invited the Trumans over for a fun dinner. Unfortunately Lori wasn't able to join us, but we loved having Wes, Lucy, and Spencer over for dinner. I don't remember what we ate for dinner, but I do remember dessert: worms in mud. :) It was so much fun reading, eating, and playing. Adrielle was especially interested in Spencer and Lucy. It was a memorable evening, one of which we will cherish.
After September I know that Wes' condition worsened. We thought a lot about him and continued to pray.
I wept at Wes' passing this week. I can not imagine the grief and sorrow that his family feels. But I know that as God lives, Wes will be reunited with his family to receive the eternal blessings he has been promised.
Ryan and I feel blessed to have known Wes. He was (and is) a true friend, a wonderful husband and father, and a disciple of our Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Chris. We look forward to seeing him in the life to come.
Dinner with the Trumans - September 23, 2010
I'm truly said that I failed to post these in September, I wish Wes had seen these pictures (despite the poor quality), but I'm hopeful that Lori, Lucy, and Spencer will enjoy them.
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