Want to know a story about a secret?
I arrived late to my English class Winter semester of my Junior year (confused buildings after being at BYU for 3 years - RB, Smith Field House, who knows the difference anyway, right? *headslap). I sat down quickly in an empty seat, which happened to be kitty corner to where Kenz was sitting. What else do I remember from that day? The cute girl (smart, too) with the last name Lawyer who also wanted to be an attorney. Ambitious, cute, and she spoke Spanish (she had just gotten back from a study abroad to Spain and her accent was amazing).
We were put into the same group for projects. She asked if we were all on Facebook, you know, to connect. I'm pretty sure I signed up that same day. One day I looked at some of her many Spain pictures on Facebook in one of the labs on campus. One of her friends saw me and told her. I was embarrassed out of my mind and terrified that she would think I was some weirdo. She probably did, but was nice to me anyway.
We were friends and when I found out how old she was, I thought I was too old for her (5 years difference). That summer, she interned in Washington and I headed to Chile for research. When I got back, I dialed her number instead of my mom's (my cell phone screen was broken). I awkwardly told her about the situation, called my mom, but then called her back. That same summer, I persuaded her to take a Spanish class with me.
That fall I helped her paint her room, we then went to lunch and later to a football game (she's a die-hard BYU football fan and I was nervous she would discover just how little I know about football, even though I liked going to games). Everything felt so natural.
We saw a lot of each other that semester. After the class we had together, we would go to the library to study... only we didn't get a lot of studying done, mostly just a lot of goofing off and laughing. I invited her to do stuff, she invited me to do stuff.
I went to her birthday/Washington Seminar party at Brick Oven and was a little late because I had to find bamboo. She had mentioned one day that she had always wanted bamboo or something. The closest I came to finding bamboo that night was some weird cactus flower plant thing. I gave it to her (not wanting to show up empty handed for her birthday) and I promised to find her bamboo over the weekend. That same bamboo sits on the counter near our kitchen sink.
We spent more and more time together and one night while walking to or from a basketball game, I held her hand. I wanted to kiss her soon after that, but thought I should take my time because I was a nervous wreck. Honestly, I think I was freaking out because deep down inside I loved her and wanted to be with her always.
On my birthday, she cooked me dinner. She put a lot of effort into the dinner and everything was so nice. Her gift to me was a leather-bound copy of Ficciones. I wanted to kiss her then, but then thought it would be stupid because it would be like, "Oh, happy birthday to me." I kinda wish I had, though.
She invited me to Arizona over Christmas break. I hadn't even kissed her and I was meeting her family! Not only that, but they were paying for my flight. It was during that trip that I knew I was utterly and completely in love with that girl.
One day I'll buy her a Mercedes just to sit in the passenger seat and look over at her beautiful self driving a beautiful car.
In January, I became a little overwhelmed with how much I loved her, along with the fact that I had to have my Chile research ready to present at a conference soon. We took a cabin trip with my family and I wasn't very attentive and sort of ignored her (something I regret to this day). Things were rough and somewhat awkward for a couple of days. We went somewhere and after dropping her off, I knew we had to talk. We went for a drive and talked about everything, I apologized for my behavior and explained my stress about the conference.
I distinctly remember two things from that conversation:
1. She wanted to know what we could do about the situation
2. She said that she loved me - not a googly eyed I love you, it was a sincere I love you and care about you and your success
I don't think I slept at all that night.
I knew I loved her, too.
We decided during that conversation that we would spend less time together during the week because I needed to get things done for the research conference -- that Valentine's day was a big deal. I knew I was going to tell her I loved her that night. I wanted it to be special. The night before, I spent hours looking everywhere for the perfect flowers. My roommates probably thought I was completely nuts.
Valentine's night we went to La Dolce Vita, where we had eaten lunch on our first "date" to the BYU football game.
Later, at her apartment we talked about life. I was looking for the perfect moment to tell her I loved her, when she told me that she loved me. I'm just slow, I guess. I told her I loved her, I knew that I wanted to spend every minute with her, that I wanted to have her by my side. We talked about getting married. It was our little secret. I didn't sleep at all that night either, I was so excited.
And marry we did!
I love Kenz. She is my amazing wife, best friend, confidant, and support.
We have graduated together (twice),
Traveled across the country several times,
and are sharing perhaps our greatest adventure, starting a family.
And so today, I remember our first Valentine's Day, think back on our life together, and smile remembering our little secret.
