Thoughts on the Mo-Fem Movement…

Someone today asked me about how I felt about the "Ordain Women" movement of a group of LDS women. While I recognize this as a possibly controversial issue, I wanted to express my personal and heart-felt thoughts: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints proclaims that women and men have an equal partnership before The Lord. 

When individuals misunderstand that women's and men's responsibilities need to be equal, pride is getting in the way. 

Equality and equity are two completely different ideas: equity indicates fairness and equality indicates. sameness (e.g., If I need a pair of shoes and you need a pair of shoes and someone gives me blue shoes that fit and someone gives you red shoes that fit what we have is equity. If, however, I demand equality, I will be given the same red shoes that you have, even if they don't fit.) 

God's Plan is perfect. The Priesthood is the responsibility of men in the church. That is by divine design. I know that together with my husband we are able to lead our family where we need to be.

Finally, for those more intellectual and scholarly arguments. The word Elohim in Hebrew references the plural of God (El) and means exalted husband and wife. The implications of this idea are deep and far reaching. However, the most important point to me is that this demonstrates that for my eternal happiness and salvation my husband and I must work extensively together. And, that without one another we are stagnant, imperfect, and unable to progress and live with God again.

Extroverts are Overbearing!!

Or so I'm often reminded.

I was at a conference last week during which I attended two, back-to-back sessions on the MBTI. The ironic thing is however that in the first session, people were ragging on extroverts as flamboyant, overbearing, talkative, interrupters whereas in the second session people were ragging on introverts as socially backward, unfriendly reclusives. 

It can get a bit touchy. We're talking our personalities here and we all fall somewhere on the spectrum, but they're just preferences. Heck, you might be an "ambivert" playing gracefully to both sides. (Find out here.)

This particular day, it did get a bit touchy. Surprisingly so. 

And you know what, it caused me to shift uncomfortably in my chair.

I am an extrovert!

And a strong one at that. And I'm perfectly happy with it. 

And guess what? 

Ryan's an introvert.

And I'm perfectly happy with it. 

In fact, our marriage is a wonderful, dynamic partnership because we are so very different...

So why, might you ask was I shifting uncomfortably in my chair? 

It is so very loaded! 

When I talk to students about the MBTI, they often let it define them, especially the E vs the I. 

And that's okay. But it doesn't have to. 

Additionally, they also view it as good or bad. And that's not okay.

We extroverts enjoy group activities, parties, and discussions. They energize us! But, we recognize that not everyone likes group activities, parties, or discussions. We also acknowledge that introverts aren't simply cold, distant people. They simply enjoy their time to recharge, think, and relax. Is either a "bad" thing? 

The answer is simply 'no'. 

It bothers me when individuals put down one side or the other. 'We certainly know your preference" is a thought I have over and over again as negative comments surface. 

Well you know what!? either way you're insulting me or you're insulting my husband (or Heidi, a close colleague). 

I am grateful that I can think and speak off the cuff, have in-depth, personal conversations in a group setting, and brainstorm like nobody's business. 

But, I also appreciate the subtle, thorough, and logical thought process that Ryan can achieve so flawlessly. 

---

So, while extroverts can come across as overbearing, they bring a lot to the table. 

And, while introverts can come across as distant, they bring a lot to the table. 

The sweet spot is in the joint appreciation and collaboration. 

Coping.

Work is crazy. To say the least.

And, I realize I don't cope very well. In fact, I've been faking a smile for a couple of days. I hate feeling fake! Lucky for me though, I'm often able to rise above it with a quick laugh or distraction. 

(In fact, I've decided to blog and listen to music for 15 minutes as my coping mechanism during my so-called "lunch".)

---

Yesterday I was feeling a little overwhelmed, and then I went to teach my night class. They are the best. Seriously.

They were giving their presentations, and they. were. awesome.

One presentation in particular peaked my teaching interest. It was a comparison to they Myers-Briggs test to various type of candy. She did such a great job making the following connections:

• Extroverts (Reese's Pieces - energy from others) vs. Introverts (Reese's Peanut Butter Cup - energy from within)
• Sensors (Tootsie Roll - right in front of you) vs. iNtuitives (Tootsie Pop - inferred) 
• Thinkers (Trail Mix - a tasty, healthy-ish snack) vs. Feelers (M&Ms - the part people will just pick out)
• Perceivers (Pop Rocks - spontaneous) vs. Judgers (Cherry Sours - exactly what you expect) 

It really was insightful. So I commented that I thought it was brilliant and that I would likely use it the next time I taught  it. It was so obvious. 

Then a girl in my class, Miss Bennett, (I love calling her that!) said the nicest thing. She said, "she changed her teaching, it's beautiful!" I thought it was so nice! I'd never thought about people who teach the same thing over and over and over again without looking for ways to improve. You can't become better if you don't implement new and creative ideas. I know I have so much to learn and improve on, so I'm constantly looking for those ideas. 

Either way, it really made my night. 

Thank you Miss Bennett. 

Tinted or Tainted

Each of us views the world through a different set of lenses. Our gender, religion, ethnicity, and nationality are all lenses. And, alongside, our experiences craft lenses that either tint or taint our views of the world.

I wrote this post a couple of years ago, and I recognize that as one who has not struggled with infertility, my thoughts then and/or now might be misunderstood or brushed aside.

While my experience with infertility is only from secondary, anecdotal sources, I have enough information to draw two sociological conclusions:  Sometimes, when we (i.e., society) are un-sensitive (not to be confused with in-sensitive) to a certain topic, we alienate others. Sometimes, when we (i.e., society) are sensitive to a certain topic, we alienate others. 

This is especially true with infertility.

Referring back to my June 2011 post, that positive cousin of Ryan's has since seen her promise come to fruition through adoption. Likewise I have met (or know) many more couples who have adopted or conceived after long battles with infertility. On the other hand, I have seen some couples undergo excruciating suffering (physically, mentally, emotionally) as they have lost child after child. 

I may never know their pain directly, but do I know that through the Atonement all that is unfair in the world will be made right in Christ Jesus. 

So, next time someone says, "let's kick all the pregnant ladies" or something about a "malicious, April Fool's pregnancy joke" or announces that they're pregnant, or mentions the loss of a pregnancy, realize that regardless of what anyone ever says, you will view the world through a set of lenses. 

The choice is yours however as to whether they're tinted or tainted. 

Never Again.

Yesterday, after the race, Adi and I came home to find our sweet neighbors with a new dog on their leash.

It turned out to be lost and they were trying to find the owner. Adi loved the idea and wanted to help, so we went and knocked on a couple doors where we thought he might belong.

No luck.

What to do?

Our neighbors have a dog, so I offered to keep him in the backyard. What could it hurt?

Adi was on cloud nine. She loved it.

She kept hugging him and wanting to help him eat, although the funniest thing was that when we closed the screen door, he would whine and she would say to me, "You made him sad." So funny. 

Well... soon after Ryan got home, our little friend was nowhere to be seen from the window. Now we know why... 

He was digging a hole in our yard. Ryan was not happy. Neither was I.

I felt a little foolish that I'd left the dog unsupervised, but I really didn't know what to expect.

Needless to say, never again.

Sorry Adi, you're going to have to get your pet loving somewhere else.

Thoughts on Evolution

I like the satire of the idea of reverse evolution, even though reverse evolution is technically an erroneous notion.* 

* Evolution is not a movement or progression to any given end goal of an ideal species. It's all about the ability to survive in one's environment. Those who possess traits more suitable for thriving in any given environment will pass along those traits and others will, well, die off. A good contrast to spiritual evolution where there is an end goal of perfection. At least we can take comfort in that the evolution that matters is progression with an end goal. The other, well, is temporary. But I digress ...

Well, I got to thinking about the reverse evolution of the cell phone yesterday when I was handed this sucker to be on-call as a Disaster Action Team Lead for our local American Red Cross.

It was just large and heavy compared to what I usually carry around and I am carrying it around for the next 6 days. 

So, I give you the retro-evolution of the cell phone.

 

And finally ...

It appears that the selective preference for diverse technological capabilities is producing larger phones, but only evolution will tell us whether bigger will be better.

It's in the Lyrics

I'm often critical of lyrics, and believe that bad lyrics are a perfectly good reason for rejecting a song and the integrity of an artist. Let me present a couple of examples:

Exhibit I: Justin Bieber "Baby"

And I was like baby, baby, baby, oh

Like baby, baby, baby, noLike baby, baby, baby, ohI thought you'd always be mine, mine

Baby, baby, baby, oh

Like baby, baby, baby, noLike baby, baby, baby, ohI thought you'd always be mine, mine

Exhibit II: Britney Spears "Til the World Ends"

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh

See the sunlight, we ain't stoppin'
Keep on dancing till the world ends
If you feel it, let it happen
Keep on dancing till the world ends
Keep on dancing till the world ends
Keep on dancing till the world ends

See the sunlight, we ain't stoppin'
Keep on dancing till the world ends
If you feel it, let it happen
Keep on dancing till the world ends
Keep on dancing till the world ends
Keep on dancing till the world ends

Exhibit III: Psy "Gangnam Style"

Oppan Gangnam Style
Gangnam Style
Op op op op oppan Gangnam Style
Gangnam Style
Op op op op oppan Gangnam Style

Eh, sexy lady
Op op op op oppan Gangnam Style
Eh, sexy lady
Op op op op
Eh eh eh eh eh eh

Unimaginative, shallow lyrics ruin it for me. How do we sing along without realizing how ridiculous and empty every word sounds as it falls from our tongues? Now, I have been accused of ulterior motives for appreciating Shakira's music. But you have to admit, her lyrics are poetry (especially previous to her sell-out to the U.S. audience).

Exhibit I: Shakira "Moscas en la casa" (translated) 

My days without you are like a sky, 
without silvery moons, 
nor traces of the sun.
My days without you are only an echo
that always repeats
the same song. 

So short of air, 
so filled with nothing.
Useless junk, 
trash on the floor, 
flies in the house. 

Exhibit II: Shakira "Pies descalzos"

You built an exact world

of such perfect finishes

Every little thing calculated

in its own little space and time.

And I'm such a complete mess

the entrances and exits

the names and measurements

can't fit into my brain.

And now you're here

wanting to be happy

when you didn't care in the least

about your destiny.

You belonged to an ancient race

of bare feet and white dreams.
You were dust, dust you are.
Think, because iron 
hat remains under heat is weak.

And I believe the same of the lyrics from this sibling duo from Mexico, Jesse & Joy. 

Lyrics translated here.

Lyrics translated here.

Getting into Heaven

Sometimes I just want to mess with unpleasant people. 

Especially with grumpy and demanding professors who, at their age, should be more concerned about how to get into heaven. 

If you're wondering, this is what I really sent.

Holiday Break

Last night as Kenz and I both mourned the loss of our time off and return to the grind of daily life I realized that over the next couple of months, I will have more freedom. No obligatory studying, no application essays, no classes. It will be just work (and hopefully we're over the madness that has been the med-school application process).

And to that happy ending, I was happy to see that last semester I pulled an A- in Pathophysiology because it was a beast; a horrible, fascinating beast that I probably should have postponed until med school given my load over the past couple of months. 

So, freedom. I admit, I've become a little obsessed (and perhaps overly ambitious in how much I intend to do with so much free time that I don't have to use worrying if I should be studying more). First, there are books that I have not read because I have been too busy reading what someone else wanted me to read (ie. textbooks). 

It began right after finals with Harry Potter. No, I have not yet read the Harry Potter series. (Who am I, did I grow up under a rock, did I even have a childhood, right?) I devoured the first book. It was like I was regaining my childhood, fulfilling long-lost dreams. 

Speaking of childhood, was anyone else terrified of the animated Hobbit movie as a child? 

To put it lightly, I hated it.

It was like that time when Sherlock first met Kitty in the bathroom. 

It repelled me. 

Unfortunately, I allowed my disgust for ugly lumpy animated characters to deprive me of the written work, which I have been reading during any perceived down time over the past couple of days. 

The movie was pretty good, too. (It didn't hurt that Watson was Bilbo because I'm a little depressed that I have run out of episodes of Sherlock on Netflix.)

But can someone tell me where the white orc comes from? Is it just story embellishment for the sake of making the book into three movies?

And speaking of making books into movies, or musical movies, Les Mis was meh, okay. I got a little tired of seeing angst personified singing to the camera for three hours.

Oh yeah, I'm re-reading that one, too.

A lot has changed since 8th grade when I first read it. We'll see how long it takes to get through the unabridged version.

And this is just because I need to comment on this somewhere and this seems like an appropriate venue and time for a break in this post which has been unrelated to actual exciting events surrounding the holidays.

Fan Mail

I receive fan mail sometimes at work (see below).

At least I like to think it's fan mail. This particular sender is quite persistent and somehow remains unconvinced that I am the wrong target audience for these propositions.

Because the extent of my German expertise does not extend much past "das ist super," "das ist gud," "bitte," "ich bin ein berliner," and the numbers up to ten,  I ran this through good old Google translator. 

I'm a bit concerned, not because the message was spicy in any way, but because this person asserts that they have visited my office home. This has not happened to the best of my knowledge. Maybe this is what celebrities with stalkers, or what being pursued by the paparazzi feels like. I guess enough people creeping around could send anyone into a vicious spiral into Britney Spears version 2007.

The Public Transportation Substitution

Truth be told, I sometimes miss taking the bus and Trax. Sometimes.

All I have in my commuting life now are mountains, fresh air, and holding my wife's hand (all very wonderful things, indeed). No broadcasted stories from those troubled by their promiscuous pasts and disturbed roommates (well, none unless Frankie and DB happen to be on). I sometimes miss the sight of a sony walkman (both of the cassette and cd varieties) and variations on fashion. 

I miss the free-fare zone.

I barely have the chance to even take pictures. My time is limited to stop lights and Kenz is usually tasked with rustling through her purse to find her phone to take pictures for me at a moment's notice. I have noticed that my trigger finger is not what it used to be. My clandestine status is slipping.

I have resorted to taking pictures of inanimate objects. Boxes of chia-pet heads are not prone to outrageous behavior or fashion sense -- I guess this could easily be a debatable point.

I humor myself with photos of sword-fighting clubs on the WSC lawn, but even this is inadequate. 

There is no public-transportation substitution.

How I Spent my Summer.

At the beginning of the school year in elementary school, did your teacher ever make you write about something you did during the summer? I don't think I ever did (but it's been too long ago to remember), but I think that what I did during the past 24+ hours would definitely make it in a how-I-spent-my-summer essay. 

Utah currently has 6 active large wildland fires burning, which have caused numerous evacuations. The American Red Cross has opened 4 facilities to help those affected by these fires. I've been involved with my local chapter for nearly two years and have tried to be trained in as many areas as possible. A few months ago, I was trained to be a Public Information Officer. I honestly did it because it scared me.  

I'm usually analytical and careful in my communication (for example, I just wrote this sentence three times in three different ways). I usually go through the implications of how I phrase things before I say or write them. It drives Kenz nuts. She'll ask me a question, I'll think about it, and think about it, and think about it, then I'll answer. So, I did something that would challenge me to shoot from the hip.

Tuesday, they were desperate for volunteers in the Mt. Pleasant shelter. After working out my work schedule with my boss, I responded. I pretty much freaked out and rehearsed talking points all the way down. I practiced answers to every question that I thought I might get from the press.

When I arrived, the shelter staff updated me on the situation and I took some pictures.

Press presence was minimal for a while and so I was pretty relaxed until I was told that I would be helping give Governor Herbert a tour of the shelter.

After a long night at the shelter (4 hours of sleep), the next day I was asked to help set up a reception center in Wellington. They were expecting large Spanish-speaking population and a Spanish-speaking PIO was necessary to help mediate.

I took more pictures.

But no press, or clients really. Everyone was on evacuation notice because the fire was not threatening homes at the time. So we set up a reception center for the community to receive information and food.

26+ hrs and 200+ miles later, I drove home missing the exit out of Price and giving myself and those following me the scenic tour of Price and Helper, Utah. 

Exciting, I know.

Harvesting Fog

There are some areas in the Atacama Desert where no there is no recorded rainfall, but they can harvest fog rolling off the ocean. 

Fog catching is cool. 

Cocalero

I sometimes watch documentaries that make me reevaluate my political views because I want a perspective that will help me understand the other side of the table. I should also mention that these documentaries are Latin-American based.

Cocalero is a leftist (sometimes anti-American) propaganda film following the presidential campaign of Evo Morales. I thought it was fascinating for a couple of reasons:

• Evo Morales is of a native indigenous population that is representative of the suppressed, repressed, and underrepresented majority of Bolivia.  

• The grassroots movements that culminated in his election were amazing, especially considering lack of financial resources and their work amongst a politically apathetic and undereducated voting base. There is actually a scene in the movie documenting a meeting during which the primary objective was teaching illiterate people how to vote. When they practiced voting, the results were surprising. Many of the votes were void because they had voted twice or for other reasons. 

• Some of the misperceptions about the United States were ridiculous, but I could see where they were coming from. 

• The issues that mattered to most people revolved around one issue - coca farming. The use of coca is another issue that is interesting in and of itself considering cultural and international drug trafficking implications. 

Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Forty-eight hours in, and I miss my sweet Ryan and precocious Adi like crazy!

I mean, who really wants to come to the Strip?

I've found myself thinking about what they might each be doing and how at various moments I've felt "marooned" in this horrible place.

This is my second time in Vegas. Two too many. Yet again, I've found the spirit at the Bellagio Fountains.

On a separate, but equal topic that has been swirling in my mind... people..

Spending a lot of time with people outside your family causes (at least me) a lot of introspection.

This has occurred on study abroad programs, internships, business trips, and even when making friends with people I see on a regular basis.

The reason for the introspection you ask?

Well, six years ago on a study abroad, an acquaintance frequently called my brother and me weird.

"You're weird."

It startled me at first, me? Weird?

Then it upset me. Me? Weird?

Since then (and more recently within the past two years), I've started thinking and noticing various differences in families.

And as I've internalized my findings (to be honest) I've seen more weird, bizarre, and crazy things from others than I have from within the confines of my own family.

For example, I've witness dysfunctional families that have abandoned their wives and children... Nope.

I've seen OCD tendencies with housework and schedules... Nope.

I've seen spouses go on more "dates" with friends then with his/her actual spouse... Nope.

So, what is weird? It's relative.

And why does distance make the heart grown fonder? Because my Ryan is amazing. He is smart, funny, spiritual, patient, loving, and well... normal. And he loves me for me. And I love him for it.

And I can't wait to get home to my sweetheart and little girl so I can enjoy my own personal "weird".

Favela Painting

Favela = shanty town. In Chile we called these areas "las tomas". 

If you have never had the privilege to visit, walk amongst the inhabitants, and talk with the people who live in these conditions, it is truly a human experience. Stripped of the audacity that comes with appearance and material possessions, you feel as if you are communicating soul to soul.

Abject poverty in shades of dirt: 

dirty animals

 and dirty kids. 

I can still almost recall the smells of dirty laundry water, urine, floor wax (like turpentine), wood, and dry dirt.

The expanse and masses that live in these conditions is breathtaking.

They surround major metropolitan areas in Latin America.

Stacked house upon house.

The higher you live (farther from the city), the poorer.

Laden with crime, gangs and drugs, the poverty is only part of what inhabitants face.

As an effort to lighten lives of those who live in favelas in Brazil, two Dutch painters have created masterpieces on cement and cinder block. 

It's favela painting.

Check out this river with koi fish, painted on a retaining wall.

Or making this

into this...

Whether or not it achieves a greater purpose in alleviating poverty by giving hope,

I think it's pretty cool.