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Tuesday, July 19, 2016

The Turning Point

Getting to Tuesday was agony... I just wanted to meet with her already!

Lucky for me, friends and family were there to take our mind off of things. 

My cousin Melissa showed up with an adult coloring book and gel pens. 


I mean who doesn't LOVE an adult coloring book?


And our dear, dear friends, Erin and Mark and their little girls sent Adrielle some beautiful roses and daisies! 


They truly brightened our day! 

Ryan studied with the littles in the front yard, and soon enough it was time to go. 


Utah summers are really wonderful! 

The drive to American Fork was peaceful, but I wanted to be there early and was a little anxious to just get a jump start. My left brain was still pulling most of the weight at this point.

We got to the office in great time, spoke with the receptionist and sat down. Right about that time, my college roommate, Jillian, called me out of the blue to wish me well. I wish I'd had more time to chat (as I feel with every person who reaches out).

As we waited, my left brain gave way to some emotions as a woman, perhaps about 40 years old came out. She was wearing a hat. She was bald. I started crying. I could never have anticipated that that would be a trigger, but I tried to hide it from the other people in the room and Ryan (although I know he saw me). The moment passed pretty quickly, but it left me feeling a little less sure, a little less secure, a little more vulnerable. It made it all that much more real.

We waited a little longer, and before the nurse came to get me, we flipped through some magazines and overheard the receptionist say that "the earliest available appointment with her is August 13th."

Over a month away.

I was speechless.

I knew God answered prayers and I knew that the prayers on my behalf heard from all over the world had been answered.

I will be forever grateful to Dr. Bruce Hill and his willingness to reach out to a colleague. It may appear to be a simple thing, but considering the pace at which my tumor is growing, another month could be my fighting chance. 


As we headed to the back, it all became so real. Breast cancer pamphlets in pretty little pink piles caught my eye and took my breath away slightly... could this possibly be real?

Ryan and I went and sat in the exam room and soon the nurse and nurse practitioner came in for the routine history.

Any family history of breast cancer?

Um... nope.

Smoker?

Nope.

Any risk factors of any kind for breast cancer in general?

Nope.

Well okay then. 

They had me change so Dr. Tittensor could do an ultrasound, and then she came in. 

She was immediately friendly and kind. She introduced herself as Jennifer which made me stutter a little bit... oh, oh is it okay to call you Jennifer? 

I told her that our family friends, Tracy and Joeen Hill said hello "when did you see them!?" and handed me a gift from the Lifting Hearts support group. 

She was so nice. My kind of doctors are knowledgable, extremely competent, and kind. 

She was even better than the eight (eight!) independent recommendations. 

We talked about about the tumor, how I found it, but most importantly how we were going to kill it. 

I went from thinking I was going to have a double mastectomy within days to Chemo first, then surgery, then radiation if needed. 

The hardest point at this part? Weaning. Within the week. 

When we left, we felt confident, in control, and interestingly enough, happy. Truly happy. We could do this. We would do this. We will beat this and it will be a thing of our past. 

 Before we left, the nurse, Carol, gave me a stack of papers with appointments leading up to a port-placement and sentinel-node surgery on July 22nd. 

Mammogram, clip placement, MRI, Echo, Genetic Counseling, and Oncology... not to mention any pre-op instructions. 

It's going to be a busy week and a half. 



Kneaders lunch after the appointment. One of my favorite photos of us, ever. 

1 comments:

Brooke Liljenquist said...

You're going to do this Kenz, I know it! We will keep praying for you. We love you so much!

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