Thoughts on Parenting

Last night, Ryan and I were waiting in line at the register while for my older brother's birthday at Old Navy. Adi was wandering around the stuffed animals at the register within sight. I was surprised when suddenly Ryan rushes over to Adi and says sternly "hey" "no". Adi had just left my sight and I hadn't seen a little boy kick her and push her, but Ryan had.

Heaven help me.

A month or so ago I entered a conversation about parenting. It basically turned into an argument about parents needing to (figuratively) leash their children through adulthood. That children, regardless of age, are unable to make their own decisions (in other words you must make them for them) and that children are not to be trusted. It also came up that all children will need therapy to undo what their parents did to them and that basically I was an awful parent.

I could not have disagreed more.

Would I have let my child run wild in a store, hurting other children? No. And it's a pretty good thing I didn't see it and had cooled down by the time the mother showed herself ten minutes later. But that's not exactly the point.

Growing up, my parents weren't very strict, but I was very obedient. I never drank, smoked, made out with boys, or stayed out late. I babysat every weekend, was asleep in my bed by 11pm on prom night, and traveled to France by myself all before the age of 18. Among friend's parents I received the nickname "Parental Guidance" because "if McKenzie's going, then you can go".

Looking back it was such a compliment. I had earned my (and other) parents' trust and had never done anything to lose it. Why would I?

I understand this isn't necessarily the norm.

But I also know that I will express my expectations to my children. I will teach them right from wrong. I will give them appropriate freedoms. I will love them and pray for them daily. I know that I will encourage them to become independent and make their own decisions. And I know that if I do my best, Heavenly Father will gladly help with the rest.

If that is the case, why would I hold my children back from exploring the world through their own decisions? Why would I hold them back from having a loving friendship rather than a rocky dictatorship. You tell me.