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Friday, July 22, 2011

Only Love. Only Hope.

I have counted the blessing of our little girl many times.

Then I realize there are those who try and try and are unable to experience that blessing so easily.

I wanted to write this post to express my love and support for friends and family who suffer with infertility. I even approached a friend who has personal experience with infertility as I thought about writing this.

Five years ago, infertility was a topic that many still considered too taboo to discuss openly. Five years ago, I didn't know (of) anyone personally who had dealt with these issues.

Today I am aware of at least 15 couples (friends and family) who have been affected on some scale by infertility. They range from couples who have never been able to conceive, to couples who have miscarried and delivered stillborn babies, to couples who have had a single child and waited and tried unsuccessfully for over 20 years. Some are young. Some are old. All have faced dissappointment and many have found success. I imagine that many, if not all of them, can relate to this...

My heart goes out to you all. I pray for your success.

The catalyst that sparked these thoughts was an experience just over a month ago. While I was in Las Vegas, I had dinner with some of Ryan's extended family. The topic of infertility came up over dinner and I learned that his cousin, who had been trying for over four years, had been unable to conceive.

(To be honest, in my experience to that point, I had seen and read a disproportionate amount of hostility, sorrow, and bitterness. I remember reading a comment once that a woman had written. It was negative, hostile really. She said "Let's go kick all the pregnant women." I was shocked. At first I was offended and defensive. Then my heart ached for her suffering and I sympathized for the pessimism with which she viewed the world.)

That night at dinner, I expected bitterness, sorrow. I was more than pleasantly surprised when she said simply, "I have been promised children, and I'm not going to worry about it."

The moment she said that, I was immediately uplifted, inspired even. There was no tension. No bitterness. Only love. Only hope.

I can imagine that she has times when she sorrows, when she hopes, and prays, and wishes, and prays some more. But on that evening, my hope and prayers and wishes became brighter because of the breath of optimism and love that she conveyed.

I follow a blog of a darling family of another Christian faith. They have been enduring the adoption process for over three years, and often mention the power of God as a source of strength and from where they receive success. Angie is a true inspiration of hope and promise.

Tomorrow, they embark on their journey to meet their little girl in-person for the first time. Congratulations Weldons!

While I don't know if their adoption is due to infertility, they have, like Ryan's cousin, shared only love. Only hope.

I wrote this post to convey the support, love I have for friends and families who travel this road. I hope it conveys just that.


Richard and Emily said...

This is a beautiful post McKenzie. Thank you for sharing it. Just the acknowledgement of infertility really means a lot to those of us who are struggling with infertility. Sometimes I feel we get so lost in a very fertile world and it is easy to feel so alone. Posts like this are wonderful reminders that there are so many who love, care, and pray for us and couples like us.

Thank you!

Tim and Jennifer said...

I get pregnant really easily... too easily in one case... and so I, too, have thought of this topic. It's hard to understand the grief some couples must face but it is amazing to also witness so much hope and love.

Sherami said...

McKenzie, thank you for your post. I have been married for 12 years now and have spent much of that time going through infertility treatments. I could have used this post so many times in this process! Thank you for your love and support; you may never know what it means to the friends you give it to during these difficult times.

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