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Sunday, June 26, 2011

Only Taking Classes

I am a fairly private person and will not disclose much unless I can tell that the person asking is genuinely interested. When we lived in VA, someone asked me what I did all day because I didn't have a job yet. First of all, I was surprised because not too long before the inquirer was perceived to have been in a similar situation. At that time, I was taking care of a very active 3-month old, looking for a job, and putting a lot of effort into seriously investigating the possibility of going to med school. (As if taking care of Binx wasn't keeping me busy enough. My hat is off to those who stay at home.) But, because I am reluctant to disclose details of my every waking hour, that person probably thought I sat around eating Bon Bons all day with the baby.

Yeah, I definitely did NOT do that.

Most men around here work and go to school full time. Kenz works full time and I go to school and invest my time in other activities that will help me get into medical school. We are fortunate that Kenz's job provides us with a comfortable life on a budget and allows me to focus on my classes, studying for the MCAT, volunteering at my local Red Cross chapter, interpreting at the local hospital, and physician shadowing. Because I do not readily disclose how much time and effort these activities take, I feel sometimes that I am judged wrongly by being compared to those men in the neighborhood who work and go to school.

Here's an example: This past weekend, a neighbor asked what I do. I answered vaguely, "I go to school and am involved in a few other things." I could almost smell the disdain on her breath when she responded, "Oh, you only go to classes? You don't work?"

No. I don't work right now at a job that pays me money.
Would I like to? Of course.
Will I work as soon as I finish classes? I am already working on that.

Needless to say, I closed up and the conversation pretty much ended there. I recognize that I am at fault for the misconception, but am I realistically going to open up a detailed list of my daily activities during small talk at a BBQ? No. I'll err on spreading misconception to those who don't care to understand rather than be the guy at the BBQ who won't stop telling you their life story.

So - the following rant is for my own feeling of vindication - that neighbor can just find out later that I am on campus 7 hours a day studying. I am a certified CPR and First Aid Instructor, and a qualified medical interpreter for IHC. I am a volunteer director for an outreach program that I created, presented, and implemented. I have recruited, interviewed, and hired 7 interns, whom I manage and lead along with roughly 10 other volunteers. And, I happily and actively participate in parenting my child.

I am not only taking classes. Nor do I sit around and eat Bon Bons with Binx. Although, both Binx and I could probably enjoy that routine for about an hour. We would even invite Kenz.

4 comments:

Melissa said...

Hey Ryan I didn't know you were a certified CPR and First Aid Instructor! I did my internship at the Red Cross in Provo and did that too. Taught over 20 CPR classes! Very cool.

Alicia said...

Kudos to you. Some people just don't get it. And they're usually the ones who sit around and do nothing themselves.

Alison Rae said...

Thank you for this Ryan! Steven and I always talk about you and how much we admire you for working so hard! Just keep up the good work!! P.S. Steven is going back to school in the Fall at the U too and I am and will continue to be the one who is working so we can appreciate this! People have made comments to me like "Are you REALLY O.K. with him going back to school??" People need to mind their own business!!

Andrea said...

When I worked full-time, I often felt like I had to justify my decision to my stay-at-home-mom friends. And when I quit working, to stay home with my children, I felt like I had to justify my decision to my friends in the profession.

Either choice was a hard one for me. I love my children and longed to care for them myself, but I loved my career as a school psychologist and longed to participate in the field. I have worked every form of "part-time" in an effort to feel balanced, and I have felt judged along the way.

BUT, in the end, it is a decision between me, my husband and the Lord. I appreciate the support of friends and family, but honestly, don't need it. I feel good about what I am doing and it doesn't matter what anyone thinks.

Sounds like I'm not the only one out there experiencing this kind of thing. Don't worry what others think of you. Good luck, my friend.

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