Admit it, I Caught your attention.
Loaded title, isn’t it? Well, have you ever thought about how loaded the connotation is? And, do you realize from where that connotation stems?
Allow me enlighten you…
I ‘grew up’ in Virginia. That is to say I went to high school there. Prior to moving here, I lived in Utah. Post living here, I lived in Utah. I could essentially say that I was born and raised in Utah. But, the thing is I ‘grew up’ in Virginia; I matured here. I left for college from here. I lived the shock, fear, and aftermath of September 11th, Anthrax, the Sniper Shootings, the start of the Iraqi Conflict here from a front-row seat, it changed me. So, when people ask me where I’m from I say “Northern Virginia.”
However, in the past couple of months, Ryan and I have been asked, “Where are you guys coming from?” To this I simply responded, “Utah” or “BYU”. I say responded—past tense—because laughs, eye rolling, and joking always ensued. Then, when asked where we were ‘from’ and I said Virginia, there is automatic “oh, so you’re a local” and then become friendly and chatty—literally two-faced right to my face. My jaw has literally dropped once or twice. Now, I respond “graduate school”.
As I have thought about the laughs, eye rolling, and joking, I have come to a realization that the pathetic “Utah Mormons” and “Non-Utah Mormons” connotation stems equally from both parties. Did you know that essentially everyone is a transplant of some kind? Guess where most of the people who have rolled their eyes were from or had received their education? Good guess. Utah. BYU. And do you know what happens when they go to Utah and laugh, roll their eyes, and joke? They deepen the divide and the chip off of both shoulders just gets bigger. How quickly we forget. I admit that I was guilty of this as a teenager, I just hope I have gained enough wisdom to avoid passing cultural biases and ethnocentrism on to my children.
I love Virginia. And, I love Utah. And, I love a lot of places in between. You can appreciate the charms of life, culture, and people wherever you are. So, to both parties I say, Get. Over. Yourselves.
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Monday, June 14, 2010
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4 comments:
I fully support you on this one for sure! Love and miss you!!!
We live in Northern Utah where there is a HUGE Utah State following. I had NO CLUE, none at all that there was a "rivalry" between Utah State and BYU. The reason? Because it is one sided. As a Cougar I know the true rivalry is with the Utes. But if you ask an Aggie, they hate BYU. Guess it's the same thing. I have grown up in Utah my whole life. And I have no idea what type of talk there is about "non-Utah Mormons." None whatsoever. I know there are steriotypes of "Utah Mormons" but not the other way around. I have no bad thoughts or anything. Maybe it's a one-sided divide....
I too have been on both sides of this. I grew up in Utah my whole life and live there now. My cousins who lived in the East first made me aware that there was a difference between "Utah Mormons" and other Mormons by disparaging comments.
Then I moved out of state and lived in Chicago, Virginia and Texas.
I learned that what non-Utah Mormons refer to as "Utah Mormons" actually has two different meanings, depending on who you're talking to.
The first is "Molly Mormon" meaning a Utah Mormon is a little weird, overly righteous or sanctimonious, naive and generally detached from the world.
The second reference to "Utah Mormons" is referring to those who are only members of the church because it is the predominant culture surrounding them. Those who are members out of convenience and who lack the depth of testimony that people who've had to gain their own testimony in a trial by fire (by being surrounded by non-members) usually. Even, on one extreme, those who are members on Sunday and part of the "world" the rest of the week.
So those are the two definitions I've found of "Utah Mormon". Interesting that they're so different, no?
This is what I learned: you cannot categorize people. No matter how hard you'd like to make everyone fit in perfect little files you've invented inside your head. Members of the church are like any other group of people- varied, unique, at different points in their progression. I wish we could accept that every individual we come across is exactly that- individual.
Wow, sorry about the super long comment. I am so with you on this though!
Thank you Alison, Andrea, and Brooke for the comments! I appreciate your insights! I hoped that people would put in their two cents. I am always surprised by biases, but it's fascinating how they are born out of experience.
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