Panic Attacks

A few weeks ago, I went to the BYU Health Center to get my seasonal flu shot. Ryan came with me and when I mentioned to the nurse that I had a slight fear of needles, she made it very difficult for me to ever even see the needle.

Before leaving, I asked her about the Swine Flu vaccine, she said that she did not recommend it. She said that because the testing had been fast and furious, that she didn't think test had been exactly thorough. That having been said, I decided against getting the vaccine--despite the fact that pregnant women were being strongly urged to get it.

Fast forward a few weeks to my water aerobics class. I met up with an old friend, and she is also expecting. She is also expecting and works in the health field. I asked her what she thought of the vaccine, and she confirmed the same suspicions as the nurse at the Health Center. Okay, it was official. I was not getting the shot.

Well, this week, I have heard a lot of stats about how many people have Swine Flu, and the numbers are staggering. According to a friend who lives there, 30% of Wymount Terrace Apartments has Swine Flu. And then there are the professors who are out, and the children who have it; it's just a little unnerving.

Then yesterday I went back to my water aerobics class and my friend said that she was feeling guilty about not getting the vaccine. Uh oh, there went my second opinion. So, I figured that I would get a third. It was too late last night, but this morning I called the U and spoke with my favorite nurse, Sam. I asked her specifically for her opinion on whether or not I should get it. She said absolutely. She said that she had been vaccinated and that her co-workers children's had fevers above 104 degrees when they had Swine Flu--dangerously high fevers.

So, after speaking with Sam, I called the county health department and asked about the vaccine. The woman said that they only had inactive vaccines left, but that they would be gone this afternoon.

At that, I hopped in the car and headed to the health department. I had a little trouble finding it, but found it and hurried inside (because I saw a ton of people heading inside). I don't know where all of the people went, but when I walked inside, I was directed to the end of the line. When I got to the end of the line, there was a sheriff there. I thought he might be in line, and asked him if he was in line. Well, it turns out I was the end of the line. They had counted the exact number of remaining vaccines and I was it. The sheriff was there to enforce and protect. I was surprised.

Anyway, I was waiting in line, and a little boy in front of me was crying. It turns out that the little boy was crying because he was worried about the shot. I told him that it wasn't bad and that they should just squeeze his arm and he wouldn't even be able to feel a thing.

Ha. I should take my own advice. As I walked into the room, I was a little nervous--basically on the verge of tears--the room was really noisy. There were screaming babies and children, and as I handed the nurse my information, I mentioned that I was nervous. She didn't even care and directed me to a line.

At this point, my nervousness turned into a full-blown panic attack. The nurse actually giving the shot saw that I was hyperventilating and crying and asked me to come and sit down. She was very nice and said to breath slowly and that it was going to be okay. It was really embarrassing because in my mind I knew I was fine, but I couldn't control my body. They asked if I would like some juice, but I explained that I was fine--through breaths and tears. I explained that I knew it didn't hurt and that I had just received the seasonal flu shot... while I was talking the nurse gave me the shot--and it was over! As soon as I felt the needle go in I said, "see there, it isn't even bad"--and the trauma was over. I picked up my wallet and stood up. They asked if I wanted to sit for a few minutes, but I said, no really, I'm fine. The other nurse said that her pregnant daughter just got it as well and was emotional. I kind of laughed in agreement. I don't know if the panic attacks happen because of the pregnancy or because of a fear of needles. I'm starting to think that pregnancy is one of the reasons.

Oh well, here's to no Swine Flu. I'm still not convinced, but I took my doctor's advice.