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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Unwillingly Overheard

Dear Bus Riding, Engaged Girl:

I would consider myself a private person, which may be why I want to give this advice to you because I overheard your hour-long phone conversation against my will. Believe me, I tried not to listen.

I know you said you don't like the bus, but it's saving you money. Me, too. In fact, it's free for me because I'm a student. I don't like a 4 hour commute 4 days a week, which is more than yours, so forgive me if I'm less than sympathetic.

Congrats on your engagement that you announced to the bus, perhaps unknowingly, as you began your conversation on the phone with your father. I'm glad you like talking to him, and to your fiancee.

So, let's get to the point. When riding on the bus and talking on the phone, it's not necessary to make sure everyone on the bus can hear you. I know, it happens all the time, from that guy yelling at the unemployment office, to you talking about your odd relationship with your fiancee - which happened to revolve around his guilt for crossing the "sacred line" when you two were looking at apartments together.

"Sacred line?" I may have thrown up in my mouth a little, until I found out it's the imaginary line that separates where boys are allowed from where they are not allowed in your apartment. Well, my roommates and I termed it the "chastity line" and my we may have allowed a girl to cross that line to use the bathroom. Yes, we believe that bathroom emergencies are still emergencies. Don't believe us? You'll understand when you have kids.

What I found odd was not that he felt uncomfortable about looking at the bathrooms of prospective habitations with you, but that it sounds like he doesn't feel comfortable being with you. Why? Because he left between conference sessions. Does he know that being married, you will be together, for-e-ver?

Also, I got to hear about your bishop's advice. TMI. Just sayin'.

To conclude, it's best for us all not to hear about your personal life - especially when you may not want to disclose so much intimate information with a bus full of strangers.

Congrats on your upcoming wedding!

Sincerely,

Ryan

P.S. Sorry it's been so rough to sell your contract, but your roommates sound like psychos. I'd wait until the lease is up at the end of the month and leave.

3 comments:

Shan said...

bwahaha. Love it. Reminds me of the phone conversations I hear just outside my office.

Parrish Family said...

Oh my goodness, Ryan I LOVE it! I think you should write a book or a blog on things that happen to you while riding the bus! I'm sure it would be fantastic!!! C:

Happy bus riding!

Laura said...

This is soooooo great. Good job, Ryan.

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