Lifting Hearts

After spending the day with Adrielle, Ellis, and Jennifer, I took the kids home to let them spend the evening with my parents while I drive to Lehi for a special support group meeting. 

As I drove to Lehi I considered turning around, but the comment from the nurse about "her" kept me going. 

Maybe, just maybe, I would find someone like me ... 

As I pulled into the parking lot at the gardens, the ever-present pit in my stomach returned and I had the same tightening in my chest as I walked (sloooowwwly) to the building. As I open both sets of double doors I started to hyperventilate and after standing just inside the doorway for about five seconds, I started sobbing and turned and darted out the door. I didn't think I would go back.

But I did. 

Slowly. 

Again, I opened both sets of double doors and stood just inside and I started to cry and cry from behind my sunglasses. 

I stood there crying until the sweetest woman came and gave me a hug. She asked, "What's wrong?" a couple of times, and when I could finally squeak out "I have breast cancer." I was sobbing. 

She held me.

A perfect stranger.

Then I learned she was Candace, a fellow survivor.

Survivor.

How humbling is it that after diagnosis and as you are going through treatment and after you're in remission, you're a survivor … 

I am a survivor. 

Candace talked to me a little about the group, helped me get signed in, and introduced me to Lori, to get my information.

Lori is a survivor. She’s 35, a mom of six, and "five years out". She was so awesome to talk to and so positive and between Candace, Lori, Sonya, and Collette I knew I was in amazing hands. 

They gave me a pink ribbon to wear as a survivor and I felt this great camaraderie. It was really special. 

After everyone got there and got settled, the founders welcomed us all and we started walking the gardens. 

I didn’t really know what the even was, something at the Thanksgiving Point gardens. I didn’t RSVP because I wasn’t sure if I was actually going to have the nerve to attend. 

It was more amazing than I could have ever imagined. 

First of all, I had never been to the Thanksgiving Point gardens before… but first let me take a #selfie… 

Little did I know that this experience would be one of the most memorable spiritual experience I have ever had. 

After walking a bit, we crossed over a construction fence and a tall brunette woman was shaking every survivor’s hand. 

My hand. 

She said it was an honor. 

Her name was Angela Johnson and she was the sculptor of the “Light of the World Garden” at Thanksgiving Point. 

We circled around a huge sculpture of Christ walking on tumultuous water after which Angela sang “Abide with Me” (she had studied vocal performance), bore her testimony of Jesus Christ, and explained her works of art to us.

The spirit was so strong and an overwhelming sense of peace settled over the whole area. 

It was another experience in which I felt the spirit whisper, “Be still, and know that I am God.”

For the next two hours, she led us through the yet-to-be-completed gardens telling us about the pieces, but the one that stuck out the most was the story of the woman who touches Christ’s robe (Mark 5:25-34). The sculptor noted that the only way she could portray a sick woman in sculpture was through a scarf and lack of hair and that when the final in-person approval for the sculpture came, the Garden’s founder, being treated for cancer, showed up wearing a scarf to cover her chemo-affected head. 

While I can’t yet relate to this scenario, I felt the love of the Savior and it was humbling to be surrounded by women who had traversed this path and already grown closer to their Savior through their trial.

My goodness Thursday was emotional, but in the end I felt the same peace that had enveloped me through the days following my diagnosis. The support group’s name is Lifting Hearts, and that day, that hour my heart was lifted.