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Friday, March 18, 2011

St. Patty's Day!

I am lame. That's all there is to it.

Call me the St. Patrick's Day grinch equivalent, but that would imply that I would be wearing green, which thing I did not do yesterday. I do not like the color green to wear. I like it in trees and on plants, like grass.


My wardrobe reflects my green aversion. So does the fact that Kenz has to beg me to wear the one green tie on my rack that I have tried to send to DI multiple times. I have only worn said tie twice. Once I wore it just because I knew that the baby might wipe her runny nose on it.

I like green foods, so long as their original color was green. I do not like green pancakes or waffles. I do not like green eggs and ham...wait a minute...

I do not like green eggs and ham
I do not like them, Sam-I-am
Do not like them here or there
I do not like them anywhere.

Not in a house, not with a mouse
Not here or there, not anywhere
I do not like green eggs and ham
I do not like them, Sam-I-am

Could you? Would you? With a goat?
Could you? Would you? On a boat?
Could you? Would you? In the rain?
Could you? Would you? On a train?

Not with a goat. Not on a boat.
Not in the rain. Not on a train.
Not in a house. Not with a mouse.
Oh, no!

Not in a box. Not with a fox.
Not in a tree. You let me be!
I do not like green eggs and ham!
I do not like them, Sam-I-am!

I knew Dr. Suess' work would end up in this post. But I'm not one for Irish cooking either. If the Italians would have instituted St. Patrick's Day (it may have been St. Patricio's Day, but I digress), I would have gladly enjoyed a good pasta dish or pizza.

And, I don't like being pinched. St. Patrick's Day just brings back memories when in elementary school, the kids would pinch each other because their green wasn't green enough, or it wasn't visible, and then that would only lead to more pinching. What kind of holiday requires you to wear green upon penalty of severe pinching, and why do we as adults perpetuate this?

What I know of St. Patrick is that he drove the snakes from Ireland.

I like that. What's not to like about eradicating snakes? And I guess that could be something worth celebrating.

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